When you start philosophizing...

I have tried!

i have tried everything and much more... im a fighter, so i try to the finish - i really try!

then when the finishing line is near, i try with a lump in my throat and then i try harder till the tears squeeze themselves out, then i stop... i dont stop stop, i stop still jogging... i stop like i could try again - i never just stop.

after the stop comes the philosphizing... 'maybe it wasnt meant for me,' 'maybe if i pray long enough it will come to me', 'maybe im not good enough, i should change...', ' maybe its the weight gain, the boob gain and lose 'maybe im too good for crap', ..maybe, who knows... maybe shit!

There is a decision making time...a time when enough is just enough,
when the serenity prayer annoys,
when philosophy sounds like a bad rock music-
there is just such a time when STOP is STOP!

You deserve the best part of life cause you serve the best cause -
there - i said it! and that my friend is the sweetest 'philosophy'!

lotta love & fancy flights!

FIRST POST

why im i writing this first post? i saw my friend's blog and i remembered i've had one for ages without a first post - shame!

its not that i have not imagined my blog active and fun and even dreamt that it won a 'blogger of the year' award - i said dreamt - lol, i certainly have but proscratination is bent on 'guming' me even though i've murdered it - well thought i have murdered it 6 times now.

so now I AM DETERMINED! i am determined to seperate from my journals and my pen and be joined to my blog. well, maybe not seperate from my journal but cheat on it with my blog - whatever!

BOTTOMLINE - I'm here to stay, to express if depressed and rejoice all my joys... (sad excuse for a rhyme...)

lotta love & fancy flights